Lies I've been telling people all day.

I'm going to spend my days and nights in the pub reading through Cicero's The Insurgents, The Human War, and Best Behaviour, and then I'm going to read Pink's Person, Hurt Others, The self-esteem Holocaust, and No Hellos Diet, and then I'm going to huff paint, smoke cigarettes, get completely tanked and write the greatest British Alternative Lit novel. FUCK BEN BROOKS, nah, he's cool. I'll settle for being best Scottish alternative lit writer. I wont even quit my day job because fuck that!