Next Level

Two men in a bedroom. One is on the bed, the other is spread out on the floor. The guy on the floor is rubbing his stubble covered face.

Floor guy: [looks at the guy on the bed] Think Christmas will come early this year?

Bed guy: [Getting up off the bed] Yes. But I don't think you should get excited. [he grins] you're getting coal bitch!

The guy on the floor gets up and walks to the window he looks outside at two kids playing street hockey. He lights a cigarette. And passes one to the guy who was previously on the bed.

Floor guy: When I was younger my mother told me I was getting coal. I didn't get up on christmas day with the zest other kids did. I feared that I would get coal. When I finally got up my parents were sat in the living room surrounded by presents.

Bed guy: [interrupts] You didn't get coal?

Floor guy: [toneless] No. [long pause] I got empty boxes because I wasn't even worth the coal.

Bed guy: That's harsh. What did you do?

Floor guy: I killed my parents.

Bed guy: [lays back down on bed, puts the cigarette in his mouth, lights it, inhales] Sounds reasonable.

The guy who was on the floor opens the window, leans his head out and watches the kids playing hockey.