I want to eat your face.

But my friend says that he would advise against it.

//Your Face Was Made Prettier.\\

You wake up in the recovery room, hurt and confused. You remember the night before. Getting drunk and actively looking for trouble. You remember a group who look suspect at best. One of them looking at you, you shouting something at him. You remember a timberland boot repeatedly in your face. Remember thinking: "This is the best kind of human contact".

I'm not an interesting person, you should punch me in the face

A lot.

My review of Hurt Others and The No Hellos Diet by Sam Pink.

If these books were sex, and I got sex more regularly than I do, these would be the best of that sex. But books are not sex and so this metaphor does not work.

   These books are more like crystal meth anyway. You go through them fast and want more, much more. But you've exhausted all your stock so now you're left angry and confused. You want to punch someone, you want to punch a child. But you don't. That would be wrong. So instead you re-read everything Sam Pink has written, and then read it some more.

   I was once kicked in the face by a cute girl I tried to make love too but was too drunk. Hurt Others and The No Hellos Diet reminded me of that. It was funny, but really intense. I remember then thinking I should write a book about this event, but I didn't. Then I read these books and the memory flowed back.

   These books are really fucking good, is what I'm trying to convey here.

An intentionally bad poem I wrote for a thread filled with intentionally bad poems.

i partied too hard
i think I am dying
but i am not dying
it was just a feeling
it has passed now
i'm being sick though
being sick is how i picture dying

i woke up with a sore head today
i think i was sucked into a gigantic void
maybe a black hole or something
can black holes absorb you like an ass
i like to dream that i am being absorbed by an ass